Do I doubt that I am where God would have me? No. Do I doubt that where God wants me is the best place? No.Can I look at my life and see numerous ways in which I have been blessed beyond measure? Absolutely. Should I turn away from what I believe God is calling me to do right now and put my life into a holding pattern in the hopes of getting a man to love me? What a waste of my life that would be.
When Jesus appeared to a few of the disciples after the resurrection and told Peter that he would die a martyr’s death, Peter looked back at John and asked “what about him?” Jesus’ reply was, “what is that to you? You must follow me.”
I suspect that often my dissatisfaction with singleness is because I look around at apparently happily married couples with several children and wonder why I haven’t been given that. But, at least for today, that is their calling, not mine. I spend too much time looking around rather than looking up. Over and over again, God has had to ask me “What is that to you?”
There’s always something to be discontent about. If I was married, who’s to say that I wouldn’t struggle with infertility? If I had children, who’s to say that they would be perfect healthy little angels? We all have our struggles, some more visible than others. We have to fight discontentment. We have to actively choose joy, choose to trust God and rest in His peace.
A few years ago, I tried to go see Macchu Picchu. The problem is that, in order to go to Macchu Picchu, you have to go to Cuzco. People with asthma are strongly advised against going over 10,000 feet. Cuzco is at 11,000 feet. I’m stubborn. God is stronger than my stubbornness. Everything that could possibly go wrong (safely) with my trip did. After 48 hours of travel, I never even made it to Peru. I only got as far as the airport in Santiago, Chile. I travelled across a continent and got a blueberry muffin. But I never saw Macchu Picchu. Maybe it would have been a bad idea for me to go to Cuzco.
There are several times in the Chronicles of Narnia where Aslan tells one of the children that it is not for us to know what would have been if… But I look back at how I’ve grown over the years and I think maybe it was good that I didn’t get married when I was younger. And even though I still want to be married and to have children, I must choose to live in the present, to follow the path that God has laid before me, to fix my eyes on Him instead of looking around me and asking “but what about her?” For what is that to me? I must follow Him.
May God help us all to choose His Joy. I have often thought about the Psalm's "and yet..." awful thing happen is every life circumstance. Any yet will I love Him. Enters in the Holy Spirit; and somehow there is Joy.
ReplyDeleteYep! You put in writing what I've often said or thought - it was almost eerie. Especially paragraph 5 and the reference to the Chronicles of Narnia. :) I gotta say, though, guys who are skipping women in their thirties because they want someone younger are missing out!
ReplyDeleteA good reminder on where our focus needs to be. Thanks.
I hesitated to give my opinion but you can see my opinion won out.
ReplyDeleteMy impression? You’re putting up road blocks. Please ask yourself if you are being honest with yourself over the subject of marriage and children. Many women have a perfectly full and meaningful life without a husband and children - but - their culture makes them feel ‘less’ of a woman because they’ve gone against the norm. Is that what you're experiencing? I don’t know. But it’s something you might want to ask yourself.
Here’s an example: You stated men lose interest in you (‘why’ they do is something pertinent only you can answer) and then you state: ‘or are nearer in age to my parents than to me (a line I’m not willing to cross at this time).’
So you’re not willing to ’cross that line’... Is it a roadblock? Sounds it to me, or, maybe someone older just not appealing to you? Again, questions for you alone. I ask because I’m encouraging you to take a chance on love wherever you might find it regardless of the mans age. I can tell you from experience - loving and marrying a man your age does not ensure a long married life. You never know from one day to the next when you will be called ’home’ or your husband will be - so who cares about age? If you're offered love TAKE IT and experience all the joy of it each and every day.
Second? You said: ’Should I turn away from what I believe God is calling me to do right now and put my life into a holding pattern in the hopes of getting a man to love me? What a waste of my life that would be.’
Oh my. Love is NEVER a waste of a life NEVER - EVER. You can have both - God and a husband and for a Christian woman as yourself to give yourself up to the authority of a husband can be a defining moment between you and God and your walk with Him.
All in all I’m encouraging you to ask yourself some questions and be honest (not that you wouldn’t be) when examining the answers. Most women want love - but not all of us have the courage to accept it. That’s not an insult, that’s a fact.
peace and God’s blessings on you.
I have asked myself these sorts of questions - and discussed with close friends - repeatedly over the last 20 years. Lord willing, I am addressing any issues of the sort you are concerned about with the people that are close to me. The one thing I am certain about though is that it is absolutely crucial that I follow God's call on my life. If and when that call is to be a wife and a mother, I will be quite happy to move in that direction. But to not follow God's calling - in whatever way He may lead - would truly be a waste.
ReplyDeleteI agree Beth. Well said. I was thinking something more alongs the lines of a clay pot going postal. But you said it better.
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